I am sitting here listening to the silence of the house, as the kids are at the park, and I am playing on the iPad. I am forced with the silence to think about what my life would consist of had I not met my husband and had I not moved from the place where I was before my life as an Army Spouse.
I have come to realize that my life is blessed, though many would wonder how I could leave my Army family and friends every 3 years or so? How could I leave my parents, siblings, extended family and child hood friends? Well, all I can say to you to help you understand, its not a hardship that I am faced with, it is a renewed feeling that I will be with all of them again. Some sooner than others and some will only be by chance as their husbands are in a different branch of service. With every duty station I am filled with excitement, along with the nervousness of a child entering Kindergarten. I look at every new Post as a new opportunity to keep myself in check, I watch my "p's and q's" I "dot my I's and cross my T's" I observe and listen, learn and explore. I learn more about myself in the first 6 months of living in a new place than most of my friends will learn in a life time of living in the same small community where we all grew up. Army life has become about the experience and the lessons learned, the friendships made and the family bonds built over a short period of time. We skip the drama of who's that chick, and opt for the open arms of how are you and what was your last duty station...your going to love it here, let us know if we can help you out with anything...
Skipping the drama of you are a threat makes you feel more like family than foe.
I think what has brought part of this thought process on, is that last night my daughter had a nightmare. She was in tears as she talked to me about how in her dream she was abducted by her "biological", you could also refer to him as a sperm donor. He was in our lives before my husband obviously, and left long before our 2nd child turned 2. In the dream, she tried to fight him off and get a way but he was just too strong and he took her away from me. It was an emotional and terrifying dream. A bit disturbing to me as I tried to explain to her that she need not worry that he would come to take her away because he no longer had any rights since her father (Paul) had adopted her. It hurt me to see her so upset but in a way it was comforting that even when she is getting yelled at or disciplined for something she has done wrong she knows that being here with her Dad and I is so much better than being a part of the dysfunctional lifestyle of the "biological". My life had taken such a drastic turn for the better since the day I set eyes on my wonderfully amazing husband! If I were to take a glance back on the times before Paul I wasn't complete, I felt that unattainable goals on relationships was a way to keep myself from being taken advantage of. But, in reality it was the only defense mechanism that I could think of to make sure I wouldn't marry any man unworthy. My life was full of someone else controlling my every move, my friendships, my interaction with my family and so on... Once I got my head out of my fourth point of contact (as my husband says) I came to realize I could do more for myself and I was better at it. Then in an instant BAM!!...there he was Paul! My life went from unattainable goals to a life where goals become a personal challenge and its conquered with ease. You become a special, rare, unique and most treasured gift that others were stupid to pass up and now you have found your purpose. It's a sense of belonging that has never been in your life before. When Paul came along my life and everything I thought I ever knew was tipped upside down and inside out he filled the holes and cracks others had created and until now I didn't know that is what he did for my children. He restored in them their belief that they matter to some one other than their mother. They are now Army Brats!
Taking that step...I mean JUMP into the Army way of life has taught me that you can never be too far from humble, too lost from being found, and never too proud to accept sacrifices you make so that others can protest about the things you think are insanely ridiculous.... I have to smile that my children (though tough at times) are able to bounce from school to school, place to place, state to state and they find where they fit in, find an acceptance from the community and school. The Army way of life also gives way to the thinking that there is always a new beginning when you change Duty Stations. A new beginning that is sometimes needed for the building of strength of a relationship strained by deployments or schools (being sent TDY). There is a renewed hope that this place will be better than the last and the things that come our way can be overcome with the strength found from the post/city prior to this. Paul and I have been fortunate to say that every Duty Station has brought us together. We are not saying that our relationship is not without flaws, but we are saying that when we were faced with difficult decisions we relied on the love and support form the previous years to guide us. Sometimes guiding us to marriage counselling or personal counseling, sometimes guiding us to seek out help from God.
Overall, our life filled with ups, downs, ins and outs has made me thankful that I can still see the simple ways my life is blessed for meeting and marrying my husband. I am blessed to have made such wonderful friends that I can take with me from place to place and even when we don't have the time to chat as often as we like we are always there for each other in a heartbeat. We are blessed as a family for having the ability to lean on each other and even when the going gets tough we know we always have us!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
It's Been A Long Tim....
Well, where to begin....
It's been a long time since I had anything to blog about and there have been so many life changing events. My son graduated and is off at college, we moved to California, we lost one of our dogs, we gained a cat, and my family and I had to live in a temporary home until we could get the proper housing here at Fort Irwin (which we all affectionately call "The Island"), my business got put on hold, Paully started school, and even though things took a rocky start, in the midst of it all, it was a humbling experience... I couldn't tell you how much upset and upheaval there was in the inter workings of our family but there was lots of lashing out at each other unintentionally of course but none the less it still went on for each of us. I found out that there are those whom are truly concerned with the well being of another human being and there are those that look at you as though you should have expected the worst of the situation and if you had you would be better prepared. I am not saying that all my interactions with people and departments were all bad but more often than not I did get the feeling that there were many who would have traded their left arm than to be dealing with me, no matter how nice, sweet, kind, and understanding I was.
Ya know, growing up in rural NY you found yourself daydreaming of life outside your small town. You think the world is going to be beautiful and new, fresh and exciting, and then you find that the places outside of your little one horse town are more like the land of OZ than the melting pot of America. Where I grew up we were ALWAYS in silent competition with another state, California! Cali was to be our nemesis all our lives... You could visit but, Florida is somehow better. You could sing the songs about their girls but the bluesy rendition of ole NY still was your theme music to life and the beat you stepped to. California was nothing short of a carpet bagger traveling the south, in a NYers eye. This is all in the retro spect to the education of the late 70's through the 90's.
So I would like to think I am an experienced adult, well rounded and ready to handle what challenges life throws me. I have to admit I was not prepared to like, let alone LoVe this free spirited, multi diverse cultured, sunshine filled state. I am learning that through decades of disliking the unknown, I can see myself settling here several months of the year much like the NYers do when they become the age where they spend their winters in FL to escape the harsh cold. I don't want to become a Floridian in the winter months, I want to be a California girl kissed with golden rays of sun and perfect hair. I want ocean humidity and long walks on firm sand where the shore dances with the waves. I am thinking that the time I spend here in California will be wise, calm, and eager to explore the treasures that have been here all along. I won't be looking at the downward spiraling, spinning out of control poor education system, the money hungry counties on the verge of bankruptcy, the high taxes and the crippled economy of the state, no instead I am going to look at the sandy beaches of Coronado, the shining stars on the walk of fame, the one of a kind chicken and waffles, sunny days and soft breeze filled nights. I am going to spend my time sight seeing the vineyards of Napa, learning that there is much more to California wines than the typical over commercialized brands sold across the country. I'm going to sink my toes in the sand and feel the brisk Santa Ana's blow through my hair. I will take the time to stroll the streets of San Francisco and ride a trolley. I am going to show my children that they have so much more to their backyard than what is out the back door.
We have the greatest opportunity placed before us and I don't want to spend my time finding the negative of "The Island" I want to sail around meeting people listening to the sounds and see the sights that I may not have an opportunity to see again.
It's been a long time since I had anything to blog about and there have been so many life changing events. My son graduated and is off at college, we moved to California, we lost one of our dogs, we gained a cat, and my family and I had to live in a temporary home until we could get the proper housing here at Fort Irwin (which we all affectionately call "The Island"), my business got put on hold, Paully started school, and even though things took a rocky start, in the midst of it all, it was a humbling experience... I couldn't tell you how much upset and upheaval there was in the inter workings of our family but there was lots of lashing out at each other unintentionally of course but none the less it still went on for each of us. I found out that there are those whom are truly concerned with the well being of another human being and there are those that look at you as though you should have expected the worst of the situation and if you had you would be better prepared. I am not saying that all my interactions with people and departments were all bad but more often than not I did get the feeling that there were many who would have traded their left arm than to be dealing with me, no matter how nice, sweet, kind, and understanding I was.
Ya know, growing up in rural NY you found yourself daydreaming of life outside your small town. You think the world is going to be beautiful and new, fresh and exciting, and then you find that the places outside of your little one horse town are more like the land of OZ than the melting pot of America. Where I grew up we were ALWAYS in silent competition with another state, California! Cali was to be our nemesis all our lives... You could visit but, Florida is somehow better. You could sing the songs about their girls but the bluesy rendition of ole NY still was your theme music to life and the beat you stepped to. California was nothing short of a carpet bagger traveling the south, in a NYers eye. This is all in the retro spect to the education of the late 70's through the 90's.
So I would like to think I am an experienced adult, well rounded and ready to handle what challenges life throws me. I have to admit I was not prepared to like, let alone LoVe this free spirited, multi diverse cultured, sunshine filled state. I am learning that through decades of disliking the unknown, I can see myself settling here several months of the year much like the NYers do when they become the age where they spend their winters in FL to escape the harsh cold. I don't want to become a Floridian in the winter months, I want to be a California girl kissed with golden rays of sun and perfect hair. I want ocean humidity and long walks on firm sand where the shore dances with the waves. I am thinking that the time I spend here in California will be wise, calm, and eager to explore the treasures that have been here all along. I won't be looking at the downward spiraling, spinning out of control poor education system, the money hungry counties on the verge of bankruptcy, the high taxes and the crippled economy of the state, no instead I am going to look at the sandy beaches of Coronado, the shining stars on the walk of fame, the one of a kind chicken and waffles, sunny days and soft breeze filled nights. I am going to spend my time sight seeing the vineyards of Napa, learning that there is much more to California wines than the typical over commercialized brands sold across the country. I'm going to sink my toes in the sand and feel the brisk Santa Ana's blow through my hair. I will take the time to stroll the streets of San Francisco and ride a trolley. I am going to show my children that they have so much more to their backyard than what is out the back door.
We have the greatest opportunity placed before us and I don't want to spend my time finding the negative of "The Island" I want to sail around meeting people listening to the sounds and see the sights that I may not have an opportunity to see again.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Stuck In The Cobwebs Of My Mind...
First off, I want to wish you and yours a blessed and happy New Year!
Every once and a while I have felt that there are times when God is there looking down on me saying, "Danielle, listen."
That simple phrase has been making me feel both idiotic and ashamed. I have, for the last several months, been watching my own actions and listening to my own mouth, and there are days where I am spot on rolling smoothly along with no worries and no stress and there are other days when I look in the imaginary mirror and wonder who the heck is this person staring back at me. Since before Christmas 2011 I have been taking stock and inventory of my life and what I need to change and where I need to improve within myself. Well Folks, This house is under some major construction!! It wont be ready for re-opening until some-time in the future. Who knew ones self could have so much clutter, baggage and drama.
Lets begin with the clutter... its as though I am watching an episode of the hoarders and I am their feature hoarder of memories, statements, conversations and random bits of useless information that makes me look like I'm a "know it all". I will be the first to admit I am not a Know It All, I am just filled with the information I have taken the time to read over the last 37...woops 38 years of my life. I am not claiming to have a photographic memory or a video camera recording my daily life,(I don't replay it every morning like 50 First Dates and reelect the life long events that have happened to me). I am just noticing I am either becoming like my Grandmothers before me or I am just becoming a hoarder... I would like to think its NOT the latter...So some of my clutter is much needed and other clutter will have to be gone through, categorized, and filed into a cabinet for future retrieval...
So I begin to notice my baggage and no... its not a Louis Vuitton hand crafted, vintage, sturdy piece of luggage....it is the years of long over due repressed, upset and anger that has now spun itself into the divorce of century....(Not Mine) My parents who have now been married 46 years have now decided to divorce. My mother bitter and not willing to let go the things of the past and my Father who cant remember breakfast let alone the actions of a man who wasn't there (only in mind not in body) for his family. My baggage also comes with a price, not monetary but its a definate price none the less... the price is what I have to pay for having the most grandchildren, for living the furthest away, and for being the only daughter born of this family even though, both of my brothers are married and they have wives. It all lays neatly folded in the baggage I have set off to the side. I dont bring this "bag" out... I dont want it to be close to me... nor do I want to open it because I know what lays inside of it. What's there is something that belongs to some one else and not me... I am easily punished and made to feel bad if I am not on the merry-go-round/roller-coaster combination they have created. I don't want to be in the middle(I have tried to remove myself) and I dont want to be made to feel bad when I am not in their midst every waking moment because Heaven forbid one gets more time with my family than the other....WoW...get over it already I am not in the mood for a new set of baggage and I sure as heck am not going to be forced to buy the set either are selling... the baggage should be left at the train station and that is my intention...I am going to leave it behind!
My Soap Opera days are limited on TV and I am now trying to figure out a way to make them non existant in my personal life....Not that I am going to be giving up on my fav soaps but I am going to start to stop the drama in my day to day life. I have begun to weed out those who are not good for me, sometimes ending the friendship in a fight and others keeping the friendship but coming to an understanding. I used to be all about drama(in my 20's) and now my life has been so calm since removing it... when it gets near me I break out into BitCh n' hives....Yeah I just said it I can recognized when I am becoming a part of a "Royal" family... It is rather hard for some to see that I am no longer about the drama especially when I go into reaction mode. I react because of the disbelief that there are so many Young and OLD that thrive on the stress brought on by the drama... I am good with out it, I am able to function to my fullest extent with knowing I am not in the middle, front or back of the Poo Poo people sling...
This year is off to a wonderful start and I am going to continue to figure out what things to keep....most of the mindless clutter I am sure I will collect but there is going to be a halt to the baggage and drama. I will work hard at keeping myself rid of the things that bring me down and I will surround myself with the things that bring me an over abundance of Love, Joy, Peace and Happiness!!!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Two in One Day....What is This?!?!?
Ok so I was in a baking mood today....I had my Girls come over and while they played cards I made Red Velvet Cake and Cheesecake....Yummy... I showed wonderful restraint and only had a small piece of RV cake....I will have a smidge of the Cheesecake....I am so totally ready to have some of that one Later!
My piece of Cake beat me!!! Red Velvet is, by the way much better with HOMEMADE frosting... the other stuff is WAY too SwEeT!!
Lovin' this time of year...
My piece of Cake beat me!!! Red Velvet is, by the way much better with HOMEMADE frosting... the other stuff is WAY too SwEeT!!
Lovin' this time of year...
Finally We Saw The Babies!!!
Well it has been a long awaited meeting but we finally got to Memphis to see, my oldest son Nick's, twin baby brothers...
I will let you enjoy their cuteness, I have some baking to do...Merry Christmas and Have a Blessed New Year!!
This (above) is Sir Jayden...
and this is Sir Jordan...
It is a blessing that Nicholas' Dad and I have gotten past so many things to become good friends. He has and amazing wife that Nick calls Mom, for that I am blessed. I know no matter where the Army sends us I know he has a loving family and a close bond with all of his siblings.
This here is a photo of Paul and I holding the boys... This is how we would have looked if we had twins...LOL No more babies for me!! I will be Auntie Dee, the one who spoils them and sends them home...
Love and Best Wishes for you and yours this Christmas season.
I will let you enjoy their cuteness, I have some baking to do...Merry Christmas and Have a Blessed New Year!!
It is a blessing that Nicholas' Dad and I have gotten past so many things to become good friends. He has and amazing wife that Nick calls Mom, for that I am blessed. I know no matter where the Army sends us I know he has a loving family and a close bond with all of his siblings.
Love and Best Wishes for you and yours this Christmas season.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The Fond Memories Of My Past, Part Due (Italian for two)
The last time I blogged about my memories it was about the passing of my Grandpa Morano.... well this time its about my other Grandparents, my Mom's parents. It has been so many years since I have celebrated a Christmas with them and but the thoughts and the memories still seem so real and so close. When the older foundation building family members have passed away many of the stories and traditions pass away with them. I am one of the last in my generation that remembers the holidays as though they were yesterday...
This year I wasnt planning on going home to NY to see my family but in a last ditch effort to get me there my niece Alyssa messaged me on Facebook and asked me to talk to Uncle Paul and please reconsider our decision and come home for a big old fashioned family Christmas. How can you say no to the pleadings of your niece... how could you tell her that you are really going to be cutting it close on your budget if you schedule this in....Ahh, Who cares....I say go for it! There are so many memories the younger generations have missed out on and it is now the responsibility of those who do remember to carry on the traditions....so here is where we are today. We are going home to NY! We, and when I say We I mean ME, will be in the cold, snowy, slushy and did I mention COLD NY for the Christmas and New Years Holiday.... I, I mean We will be subject to the harsh winter weather I have long since moved away from .....LOL Its crazy how wimpy we become when it comes to dealing with the cold. I can remember spending Christmas and playing outside throwing snowballs, building forts and seeing if the pond was frozen enough to skate around on. Hahahahaha, I am seriously laughing about the memories as I am typing, they flow from the back of the subconscience mind racing forward to slap me up side of the head and say, "Your not giving your children this experience....Your not letting them get yelled at for leaving their frozen and wet boots, mittens, scarfs, coats, and snow pants in the middle of the floor and you are depriving them of being able to build the memories with their cousins like you have with yours ....whats the matter with you?"
As I said before I am giving in, I am going to make memories and most of this is due to the pleadings of a 14year old girl and from the blog One Perfect Bite (http://oneperfectbite.blogspot.com/2011/12/santa-lucia-crown-for-feast-of-st-lucia.html)....Thank you Both you have jogged the memories laying dormant in my mind, causing me to WANT now more than ever to build memories. So this Christmas I am going to get out the bricks and mortar... I am going to build the next floor of memories.
I challenge you to do the same, call your Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, ask them what one tradition from your family is and do it. Even if it seems simple, keep it that way dont modernize it, dont make it into more than the simple thing that it was...A Family Memory!
Here is just a little memory I have of my family at Christmas...
We would leave very early in the morning on Christmas Eve and head out to my Grandma and Grandpa Ferrari's house over 2 hours away. My brothers and I would make sure we had all of our outdoor gear so we would be able to play outside when we got there. Upon falling asleep in the car we would be awakened with the stir of, "Hey guys we are here." Perking up we would pile out of the car my Mom and Dad would unload the trunk of our family car and bring in the groceries we needed to successfully make our Christmas dinner the way we wanted it to be....Memorable! Soon after arriving there would be a knock followed by the door blasting open and my cousins would barrel through the door and greet each and every one of us in the house. My mom, Grandma and Aunt Mary would talk and laugh making funny comments about memories they had from their childhood. I could almost smell the coffee.... Us kids would be dressed and out the door to do our exploring. If it was too cold we would just look at the perfectly laid snow and say to each other, "How come there are no footprints? Grandpa must go outside.... Doesn't he?" The day would be followed with an evening of watching TV and playing in the basement while the sauce simmered on the stove and the Bacalhau (Salted Cod Fish) was being prepared by my Grandpa. We always knew that our evening was going to be cut short so that my Mom, Dad and Aunt Mary & Uncle Elwood could leave with my cousins and finish the final touches to the food being prepared for Christmas Day activities... My brothers and I would sleep at Grandma and Grandpas because we always knew we would be spoiled and they would make a kickin breakfast in the morning.
Christmas Day, it wasnt a day where we worshiped the God of TV, though we did watch football games and parades, but it was spent talking, laughing and building bonds and memories with our family that no one in the world could ever take away from us. We have been blessed with the memories and I am so glad I could share them with you...God Bless you ALL and make every memory count this Christmas and dont forget to Wish Jesus a Happy Birthday!!! After all he is the reason we have the season....
This year I wasnt planning on going home to NY to see my family but in a last ditch effort to get me there my niece Alyssa messaged me on Facebook and asked me to talk to Uncle Paul and please reconsider our decision and come home for a big old fashioned family Christmas. How can you say no to the pleadings of your niece... how could you tell her that you are really going to be cutting it close on your budget if you schedule this in....Ahh, Who cares....I say go for it! There are so many memories the younger generations have missed out on and it is now the responsibility of those who do remember to carry on the traditions....so here is where we are today. We are going home to NY! We, and when I say We I mean ME, will be in the cold, snowy, slushy and did I mention COLD NY for the Christmas and New Years Holiday.... I, I mean We will be subject to the harsh winter weather I have long since moved away from .....LOL Its crazy how wimpy we become when it comes to dealing with the cold. I can remember spending Christmas and playing outside throwing snowballs, building forts and seeing if the pond was frozen enough to skate around on. Hahahahaha, I am seriously laughing about the memories as I am typing, they flow from the back of the subconscience mind racing forward to slap me up side of the head and say, "Your not giving your children this experience....Your not letting them get yelled at for leaving their frozen and wet boots, mittens, scarfs, coats, and snow pants in the middle of the floor and you are depriving them of being able to build the memories with their cousins like you have with yours ....whats the matter with you?"
As I said before I am giving in, I am going to make memories and most of this is due to the pleadings of a 14year old girl and from the blog One Perfect Bite (http://oneperfectbite.blogspot.com/2011/12/santa-lucia-crown-for-feast-of-st-lucia.html)....Thank you Both you have jogged the memories laying dormant in my mind, causing me to WANT now more than ever to build memories. So this Christmas I am going to get out the bricks and mortar... I am going to build the next floor of memories.
I challenge you to do the same, call your Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, ask them what one tradition from your family is and do it. Even if it seems simple, keep it that way dont modernize it, dont make it into more than the simple thing that it was...A Family Memory!
Here is just a little memory I have of my family at Christmas...
We would leave very early in the morning on Christmas Eve and head out to my Grandma and Grandpa Ferrari's house over 2 hours away. My brothers and I would make sure we had all of our outdoor gear so we would be able to play outside when we got there. Upon falling asleep in the car we would be awakened with the stir of, "Hey guys we are here." Perking up we would pile out of the car my Mom and Dad would unload the trunk of our family car and bring in the groceries we needed to successfully make our Christmas dinner the way we wanted it to be....Memorable! Soon after arriving there would be a knock followed by the door blasting open and my cousins would barrel through the door and greet each and every one of us in the house. My mom, Grandma and Aunt Mary would talk and laugh making funny comments about memories they had from their childhood. I could almost smell the coffee.... Us kids would be dressed and out the door to do our exploring. If it was too cold we would just look at the perfectly laid snow and say to each other, "How come there are no footprints? Grandpa must go outside.... Doesn't he?" The day would be followed with an evening of watching TV and playing in the basement while the sauce simmered on the stove and the Bacalhau (Salted Cod Fish) was being prepared by my Grandpa. We always knew that our evening was going to be cut short so that my Mom, Dad and Aunt Mary & Uncle Elwood could leave with my cousins and finish the final touches to the food being prepared for Christmas Day activities... My brothers and I would sleep at Grandma and Grandpas because we always knew we would be spoiled and they would make a kickin breakfast in the morning.
Christmas Day, it wasnt a day where we worshiped the God of TV, though we did watch football games and parades, but it was spent talking, laughing and building bonds and memories with our family that no one in the world could ever take away from us. We have been blessed with the memories and I am so glad I could share them with you...God Bless you ALL and make every memory count this Christmas and dont forget to Wish Jesus a Happy Birthday!!! After all he is the reason we have the season....
Sunday, November 13, 2011
POOF!! ...There She Is...
It's been some time since I was on here to vent, babble, and amuse you with my minut rantings...
In the last few weeks my hubs and I have been discussing the option of going home for Christmas...though I want to just because I am not so sure when I will be able to do so again, I am hesitant... My family for the most part for the last 7 years have been understanding to the fact that I am now married to the military and that I am not always going to be around for family events, functions and other family altering things.... So in the grand design I would be able to attend events and be there for the important things in life but my married life just doesn't give me the option or the opportunity to do such things on an every year basis... don't take this as a complaint but take it as a part of life that I am good with.
Some things that are currently weighing on my mind is that I am not understanding to the wishy washiness of my immediate family. In particular my brother...I love my brothers both of them, I have grown up with my one sister in law and the other well lets just say it is a good thing that I am at a distance...(negativity is not one of my favorite traits among friends and family...) So I have always thought my brother to be a strong minded, well at least when we were little he was the little protector over both my brother and I but it seems to be that over time his wife has just chiseled away at the strong man he once was to a spineless person with shallow ideals...I am sure I have changed as well where I used to be walked on and treated badly I am now much stronger and I am ALL about communication.... When on vacation with my brother (the younger of the two) we had to have the chat that if there was anything that he wanted to do all he had to do was say so I didn't mind and if I did mind then I would get over it and the sun would shine tomorrow....LOL I am not about holding a grudge or dangling ones faults over ones head to say, "Hey! Hey You... don't for get that time.....You know what I'm talkin' bout ...Yeah that's it look up before you get egg on YOUR face...." TOTALLY NOT ME!!!!! If I've been taught one thing if anything by my husband then it is that there is nothing worth stewing, there is no reason to hold a grudge over someone when there are so many other, much BIGGER, fish to fry....
Ok so here is another dilemma I'm going through....and I am in need of some much needed advice. I have a daughter who was diagnosed with a slight dyslexia. In her other school in TX they were teaching her how to undo the things she had been doing for so long to compensate and they were showing her how to use new strategies and they new strategies were working.... And now here in the state of Missouri they (meaning the school district) don't think that dyslexia is a true form of a learning disorder...so there is NO HELP from the school, the principal, or teachers to give her guidance they are just popping her from class to class assistance to assistance, none of which is helping and they are just hindering her progression....I have bugged the school to get her the appropriate help and they just keep on saying that the dyslexia isn't an issue....Yeah That's right dyslexia ISN'T an ISSUE!! I am at my whits end...and then to top it all off they have these things called student led conferences... and so in protest I told my Hubs that if he wanted to attend then that was fine but I was not into sitting in the school for over 3 hours to go from class to class to hear about all the things that we were already talking about at home.... case in point our daughter Lauri was always telling us that she couldn't remember her day and so we told her that she needed to start with the first thing she did in the morning to the last thing she did before she came home....LOL so at the dinner table 90% of the time we sit and ask the kids how their day went, what did they do and what did they learn... I don't need the school to make sure I am doing my part as a parent nor do I need them to try to guilt me into attending the student led conference that I don't believe in... Yes I was guilted...not by one teacher but by 2 out of the 3 teachers....It was crazy... so my Hubs attended the event and was there not for the 3 I thought I would be there for but for 4 Hours and 15 Minutes....Yes this is OVER the top....so I asked him what took so long when he got home and he had to say that after the student led conference each parent had the opportunity to talk to the teacher....going from making the conference time from 30 minutes to over an hour for each student....WOW and we cant get assistance for a child who needs help with reading....its a wonder why our schools are so messed up. Ok side bar....I do think that the teachers of America arent doing their jobs, I actually feel they are under paid and under appreciated...our governments State City and Federal limit the funding that is there to make sure our children are well educated and we lessen the standards to compensate for regions that have to cater to diversity. So I DO appreciate and value the teachers the kids have I am more appalled at the State and Federal standards as a whole...
Ok so what do you do with a non responsive school...who do you go to, to get the assistance we need with out having to spend an arm and a leg....let alone a kidney or lung... Is there a service out there that will be a voice of reason as I am for my child.... I sometimes feel as if I am the only one who cares and wants the best for Shaunie, she is a child and other than her parents she needs to have a teacher who is willing to go above and beyond, and see the whole thing through....
As Scarlet O'Hara once said...."After all tomorrow is another Day!" So true So true!!
In the last few weeks my hubs and I have been discussing the option of going home for Christmas...though I want to just because I am not so sure when I will be able to do so again, I am hesitant... My family for the most part for the last 7 years have been understanding to the fact that I am now married to the military and that I am not always going to be around for family events, functions and other family altering things.... So in the grand design I would be able to attend events and be there for the important things in life but my married life just doesn't give me the option or the opportunity to do such things on an every year basis... don't take this as a complaint but take it as a part of life that I am good with.
Some things that are currently weighing on my mind is that I am not understanding to the wishy washiness of my immediate family. In particular my brother...I love my brothers both of them, I have grown up with my one sister in law and the other well lets just say it is a good thing that I am at a distance...(negativity is not one of my favorite traits among friends and family...) So I have always thought my brother to be a strong minded, well at least when we were little he was the little protector over both my brother and I but it seems to be that over time his wife has just chiseled away at the strong man he once was to a spineless person with shallow ideals...I am sure I have changed as well where I used to be walked on and treated badly I am now much stronger and I am ALL about communication.... When on vacation with my brother (the younger of the two) we had to have the chat that if there was anything that he wanted to do all he had to do was say so I didn't mind and if I did mind then I would get over it and the sun would shine tomorrow....LOL I am not about holding a grudge or dangling ones faults over ones head to say, "Hey! Hey You... don't for get that time.....You know what I'm talkin' bout ...Yeah that's it look up before you get egg on YOUR face...." TOTALLY NOT ME!!!!! If I've been taught one thing if anything by my husband then it is that there is nothing worth stewing, there is no reason to hold a grudge over someone when there are so many other, much BIGGER, fish to fry....
Ok so here is another dilemma I'm going through....and I am in need of some much needed advice. I have a daughter who was diagnosed with a slight dyslexia. In her other school in TX they were teaching her how to undo the things she had been doing for so long to compensate and they were showing her how to use new strategies and they new strategies were working.... And now here in the state of Missouri they (meaning the school district) don't think that dyslexia is a true form of a learning disorder...so there is NO HELP from the school, the principal, or teachers to give her guidance they are just popping her from class to class assistance to assistance, none of which is helping and they are just hindering her progression....I have bugged the school to get her the appropriate help and they just keep on saying that the dyslexia isn't an issue....Yeah That's right dyslexia ISN'T an ISSUE!! I am at my whits end...and then to top it all off they have these things called student led conferences... and so in protest I told my Hubs that if he wanted to attend then that was fine but I was not into sitting in the school for over 3 hours to go from class to class to hear about all the things that we were already talking about at home.... case in point our daughter Lauri was always telling us that she couldn't remember her day and so we told her that she needed to start with the first thing she did in the morning to the last thing she did before she came home....LOL so at the dinner table 90% of the time we sit and ask the kids how their day went, what did they do and what did they learn... I don't need the school to make sure I am doing my part as a parent nor do I need them to try to guilt me into attending the student led conference that I don't believe in... Yes I was guilted...not by one teacher but by 2 out of the 3 teachers....It was crazy... so my Hubs attended the event and was there not for the 3 I thought I would be there for but for 4 Hours and 15 Minutes....Yes this is OVER the top....so I asked him what took so long when he got home and he had to say that after the student led conference each parent had the opportunity to talk to the teacher....going from making the conference time from 30 minutes to over an hour for each student....WOW and we cant get assistance for a child who needs help with reading....its a wonder why our schools are so messed up. Ok side bar....I do think that the teachers of America arent doing their jobs, I actually feel they are under paid and under appreciated...our governments State City and Federal limit the funding that is there to make sure our children are well educated and we lessen the standards to compensate for regions that have to cater to diversity. So I DO appreciate and value the teachers the kids have I am more appalled at the State and Federal standards as a whole...
Ok so what do you do with a non responsive school...who do you go to, to get the assistance we need with out having to spend an arm and a leg....let alone a kidney or lung... Is there a service out there that will be a voice of reason as I am for my child.... I sometimes feel as if I am the only one who cares and wants the best for Shaunie, she is a child and other than her parents she needs to have a teacher who is willing to go above and beyond, and see the whole thing through....
As Scarlet O'Hara once said...."After all tomorrow is another Day!" So true So true!!
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